Talking to Family Members About Abortion and the Gospel

0:00 I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours, s and me, Lord, I am yours. Welcome to the Gospel Center Pro Life Podcast, and this episode me and Vicky are going to talk about how to share your pro life used and the Gospel with family members that might not agree with you. Stay tuned. I felt show passish touch your heart. All Right, welcome to the Gospel Center pro life podcast. We're going to do a little, I mean maybe not so heavy, little lighthearted episode here. Might get heavy, though. We're getting into the word, the word of got US heavy. But we're going to talk about how to how to talk with your friends and family members. You know, it's the holiday season. It's thanksgivings coming up, Christmas then and Hanaka. I guess if you celebrate Honaka or whatever, boxing day. Of course that's a big day college. Yeah, big holiday for those Canadians up here. But either way you're going to be around family, maybe family members that you don't see very often, and people who don't agree with you, people who don't embrace your values, in your views. And in particular we're going to be talking about the issue of abortion, but I think of course the larger issue is talking about Jesus, Sharing The Gospel with your family members. So we're just going to go into some principles of how to do that, how to share your prolife values,

1:33 how to share the value that you believe God's word tells us of of the unborn baby. And you might have a family member, as I do and Vicky do as well, or maybe several family members that that don't agree that you know abortion should be legal, think that abortion is a woman's right to choose. So how do you talk to those people in a way that honors the Lord, in a way that's effective, about your values as a Christian and, in particular, about the issue of abortion? And as we were talking through this podcast and talking through this subject, one scripture really just stuck out as we talked about it, and it's that first Peter Scripture. And so what we're going to do is is we're going to go through this verse sort of systematically, because there's some really good principles. God's Word is awesome, it is, and given us these just basic principles. There's a lot to God's word is there's a lot of depth there, but there's also just some very practical principles and I think this first Peter Chapter three and verse fifteen passage gives us some really just basic principles in sharing the faith and sharing our views and our values. So if you would just go ahead and read that verse Real Quick, Vicki, and this is from the EESV version, right, and and then we'll just kind of break it down with some of these principles. Okay, so this is first Peter Three fifteen, but in your hearts, honor Christ, the Lord as Holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for the reason for the hope that is in you. You do it with gentleness and respect. Okay, this really

3:07 does speak to me because, you know, most family gatherings you hear everyone when they come home and say how was it? How was your vacation, and you know, people roll their eyes. Yeah, you know it was. It's never quite what you hope and I do think that the the principles that were going to discuss. I honestly feel like, wow, these, you know, these are a good way to guide all family discussions, not just family discussions about something as heavy a topic as abortion. Yeah, yeah, I mean that's one of the things that this is a heavy topic yeah, and this is something that people are very passionate about, and rightly so. We're talking about, you know, killing people. Of course, on the other side, you know, for those who think abortion is a woman's right to choose, they're pretty passionate about this thing to right and can get pretty venomous. And Yeah, you know, even Christians, as we're standing our ground for truth, we can get pretty pretty nasty and, of course, in no way minimizing the the the weight of this subject. And we're talking about, you know, people that are being treated like garbage, you know, human beings that are thrown away at like medical waste. That that's something to be passionate about. Yeah, but we've got a sort of think this thing through and we've got a sort of you know, we because we want to share our views and we want to share it not ultimately are views.

4:21 It's God's views, God's word. What it's God's word say. We want to share that stuff in a way that's going to actually have an effect. We're not just going to spew some truth and it not care really if it sticks or not. We wanted to stick. We want to be in people's hearts and people's minds. Won't people to have a comfort confrontation with the truth and hopes that they'll change their mind or at least rethink, yeah, their position. Yeah, it's not just that we want to be right about something, it's that we really believe in the Bible. Is Pretty clear what we do. We want to be right, but that's one of my problems. We truly do want the world to be a world that glorifies Scott. Yeah, and, and this is this is a huge part of God's world, the humans. Yeah, the humans that he put in, things that he put in this world. Absolutely, and there a value. So let's let's talk about that first principle, because we sort of broke it down and four principles that are thrown out of that scripture, and so read again that first part of that verse, if you let me know. Okay, first, peace, speed. It's in the new testaments, in case your wonder.

5:21 Yeah, Peter, okay, so the first part. But in your hearts honor Christ, the Lord as Holy. Okay, and that's the first principle, and you brought this out as we were talking through this, that we need to prepare our hearts. We need to prepare our hearts and be pray and you know, hopefully, if you have these family members, obviously, if they're embracing the idea that abortion is just a woman's right to choose, they're obviously, you know, they need the Lord Right, they need God. So we need to be praying. Hopefully already are praying for your family members, praying that they're miles of be open not just to the fact that abortion is wrong but that they need the Lord, but also praying and asking the Lord to give you opportunity, praying ask the Lord to give you wisdom. We're going to talk about some some other principles have to do with this praying and asking the Lord to open up these doors. So say to find the Lord in our hearts or seeing the Lord is holy, is first understanding. This is about him, this is not about us right, it's about him. It's about other people who need to know him. So, yeah, that first principle of just preparing our hearts and asking God to prepare the hearts of our family members for these very heavy conversations. Yeah, and so in in and it says, but in your hearts, honor Christ, the Lord is holy, and so in your hearts. You know, I was thinking about that in a few minutes that we've been, you know, preparing for this, just just thinking. Okay, how, how in my heart do I prepare my heart that that Christ is holy? Yeah, and

6:54 you know, one of the best ways is through reading scripture, reading his word and and and seeing what he has done and remembering what he's done. So, you know, I think sometimes in the holidays things get really busy. Yeah, and and we get overwhelmed pretty quickly and there's never enough time to do all the things. You know, I know, I my house is still not cleaned. I keep it's on the list that day and it's just keeps being the thing that gets ignored. But I think that what can get ignored is being in the word. Yeah, and at the time when maybe we needed the most to remember and to prepare our own hearts, not just that God would prepare other hearts to receive whatever we may have to offer, but that our own hearts are prepared. Well, if we're too busy to be in the word, to be in prayer, we may lose the the best. I do want to use the Mu, the word ammunition, but I can't think of another word that God has given us. Yeah, to prepare our own hearts to remember the holiness. Yeah, one of the things too, I think we can miss in the Hustle and bustle of the holiday season. And you know, they're just certain people, even in your family, that you dread go into those, you know, dinners or you know whatever you Thanksgiving meal or Christmas dinner with with that family member because you, like man, I don't want to be around them. But sanctifying the Lord in your heart, seeing the Lord as holy, is trying to see

8:26 things his way of asking him to give you his heart for those family members and their family members that you've been around for a long time. Yeah, and you just Oh, I don't want to see Uncle Eddie again, because we always get into an argument about you know. It's like, well, be praying. Ask The Lord to open Uncle Eddie's heart, you know, ask the Lord to to speak to him. God can prepare his heart long before he arrives, you know, your house or Grandma's house from you know, thinks given dinner and maybe give you a new attitude. Yeah, it's uncle and exactly. Yeah, new angle to come from, you know, and so whatever, it's ultimately just given it to the Lord. This is about the Lord. This is about the Lord doing a work and your family members hearts. And again, it's not just about the issue of abortion.

9:09 I mean that's what this podcast is about, but this podcast is also about the Gospel. So ultimately it's not just persuading them the abortion is wrong. People can believe abortion is wrong and still not be regenerated by the power of the Holy Spirit. They could be still be dead in their sins. We don't want to just convince them abortion is wrong. We want them to be convinced that Jesus Christ is Lord and surrender their lives to him. Right, but this conversation about abortion might just be sort of a catalyst for that conversation about Jesus as well. Yeah, yeah, I was thinking also, in preparing your heart to that Jesus Christ as holy of some of the things that I do very naturally when I'm alone with the Lord. Pray before a meal by my head, literally pray, you know, and it's obvious. And when you're with at least me, when I'm with people that don't have family members that don't do that, it's a there's this moment of do I do it, I not do it, and and I think this verse is in a way saying do it. That's part of preparing, showing that he is wholly in your life. And usually the way I try to deal with it.

10:16 Usually, as I'll say, it's it okay, if I see grace. Yeah, but there are some times, I'll be honest, awkward moments when you're with someone who you know does not share that believe and I thought sometimes, I think we should, I just pray quietly in my heart. Do I need to make it open? Yeah, and I mean the best thing to do, especially if you have an uncle Eddie and they were somebody like that I was talking about, is just, you know, pray, Lord Jesus, Uncle Eddie is lost and I pray you save him right now, right in front uncle Eddie. Make sure you do that. Make sure he understands he's lost. That's kid. Don't do that, uncle. You do his ideas. Help you to see that he's wicked and he's going to help. Yeah, no, don't do that. Actually, that will not.

11:01 But yeah, I mean not compromising who you are and who God is because family members are offended by that. You don't have to go out of your way, and this is one of the things that I the Lord has helped me with. For sure. When I first was saved, it's like I would go out of my way to, I don't know, provoke or just Expur a conversation about, you know, things like abortion or about, you know, the belief in God, because I have have an aunt who is not just left leaning, like totally left right, you know, she's a leftist, and but she loves our family. In a few, you know, in the first couple of years of after I get saved, though, we had some some rocky conversations during Thanksgiving, in Christmas time. We had some sometimes where everyone else in the room felt uncomfortab boo, because we were going back and forth and debating things that had to do with Jesus and I had to do with, you know, abortion and other things. And I, looking back like Oh man, that really didn't honor God so much.

12:01 Yeah, but did you know I was right? Technically? Yeah, I was. relationally, I was wrong in that sense the zeal of a new believer, because I think all of us, when we were new believers, have stories like that that we kind of cringe like live back like yeah, man, didn't need to be that sure. I was a jerk for Jesus, which is why it's a process. You know, sanctification is indeed a process that will take louse in the day of the day of death. Yeah, well, the next prince will read on in that scripture and we'll touch on that next prince. All right, so always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason, for the hope that it's in you. Okay. So the next keyword there is prepare yeah, preparation. Yeah, part of that preparation, of course, is in our hearts, in the Lord, and we're praying. So that first principle, you know. But also knowing what the Scripture says about abortion, if you're going to talk about abortion in particular, know what the Bible actually says, knowing medical facts, knowing statistics, those things are helpful. When you're having a conversation with someone but you're completely uninformed about what you're even talking about, you can really look like an idiot, you know, you can really dishonor the Lord. So knowing what the Scripture says in the you these may be unbelievers, these may be Christians. I mean sometimes you'll get in conversations with with family members that are believers, are at least appear to be a believer

13:33 in Jesus, and you'll have some of that tension still. They might say, well, you know, abortion, I know abortion is wrong, but going out to an abortion clinic, for example, with you know my case, going out to abortion, and that just taking a little too far. And so you might have that conversation and I make a defense of why I do that and why do what I what I do based on God's words, specially, you know what. I'm talking with a Christian. Yeah, believe God's work can still be effective when we're talking to atheists and we're talking will. God puts value on human life, every human value, human life is valued by him, and just giving him what the Scripture says, given them what the Scripture says about that. Yeah, also, of course, medical facts, statistics. Some people don't know even the magnitude of the problem.

14:13 Yeah, and so you might be sharing with a with a Christian family member who you know thinks, you know, abortions bad thing, but is it really that big of a problem? And sharing you know what? Almost a million children die every year. Sharing close to home, you know, in our city here in Charlotte, we're seeing thirty, sometimes forty, fifty abortions a day, day some day. So we six days a week. Most Christians that think, you know, abortions is wrong, it's bad, it's a problem, but they're not really, you know, in their hearts burden with this issue of abortion because they don't really see and know the magnet to to the problem. And when you share that, you might have a family member from out of town who you're sharing what it's got, what God's doing.

14:54 So sharing testimonies also is very powerful. Yeah, might touch on that a little more, but she and the statistics and sharing the way of really what's going on. They might fly back home or go back home to where they're from and start their own ministry out in front of an abortion CHAC for their own ministry inside of a pregnancy center, doing something for for God or something to impact for the issue of life. So you don't know what impact you could have, whether their unbelievers were believed right. There's so much ignorant in around the whole issue of abortion. In an interaction today, which wasn't a family member, but I was telling you earlier, I felt like a lot of the principles were discussing kind of were a part of that discussion with this girl who's coming for a job interview at the abortion, abortion, yeah, clinics. And and one of the things she said was was she was claimed to be a believer in Jesus, yes, and and a strong believer, I mean, and you know, there was a lot of the things she said that I thought. You know, I was a little taken aback because it sounded like she was. And and but one of the IT turns out she didn't know it was an abortion clinic. She just thought it was a medic woman's line. But she was still going to go in. And and as for a job, and she said, you know, I know people have differing views about pro life pro choice. I'm I'm pro life and pro choice, and she said them both. And I thought pro choice for for what? And she said, well, you know, a woman tried to choose, and I said, well, so am I if the woman's choosing chocolate or vanilla ice created. But we're talking about a woman's choice for what. And and then she just was silent because she realized, Oh,

16:29 I said a woman's right to choose the death of her own baby. Do you think that as a believer in the Lord. That's something that that we should be supporting. And she said no and she ended up leaving and not going in for the job interview. But, um, but so kind of the the point, just reiterating. Yet there is so much ignorance that in around the whole abortion issue and sometimes, if you can just get a family member to kind of understand, they hear the mantras and they just like sometimes grab a hold of those without really understanding what they're even saying. And we have the experience being out there, you know personally, since we're sidewalk cousters in front of an abortion center. We know what the the truth is and we do have experience and examples and anecdotal evidence and things to say an act evidence can actually be powerful. It can be so power you know, a lot of this is emotionally driven anyway it because it again like with that young lady, you're talking about other people. You've talked to, you that we talked to you over the years of I'm sure some of the folks that are listening have talked to their emotional arguments. It's based on emotions. It's not really very well thought through. When you start talking about. So a woman's right to choose to do what right? Oh, to choose to have an abortion. Okay, then what is an abortion right? Well, an abortion is the removal of the project of conception. What is the project of concept?

17:52 You know, asking those questions, and one of the things I think I'll say along the lines of this same principle is not letting the conversation just center around politics, because that can be you know, my grandmother, who's German, would get angry when me and my aunt and my brother actually, who's a believer, and we would me and my brother would basically my aunt and uncle. We would be having a conversation with them back and forth about the issue of abortion. My Grandmother Say, don't talk about religion and politics. Her, I can't do her German action. But that was what you'd say, don't talk about religion and politics. You get pretty mad. Yeah, but a lot of it, as a look back, was like this was a political conversation more than it will you know, was a Democrat Republican conversation more than it was a Jesus and Truth Combating Satan and lies conversation.

18:38 And so not letting it slip into the politics thing, because the politics thing can really polarize and really just make make the conversation kind of go south. It can, and so can religion. I mean, I think your grandmother's right, but as we as we said before we started this, well, what else is there? You know, my life is the Lord. He is the reason I exist. Yeah, and to to shut that off in a gathering would instantly create tension for me. You can't know. It's apt if you love the look not talk about Jesus. Right, right, but there are principles about how we can discuss that. So, your grandmother, I do agree. Religion and politics can can often silence a room. Yeah, and and driving came away. But one thing I said, you know, she said don't talk about religion and politics it. So, if I don't talk about religion, people go to hell, but don't talk about politics, sometimes the country will go there as well. Sometimes we got to talk about these things. But I think what it is more than just skirting the issues or ignoring the issue of religion politics. It's the way that you go about talking about yeah, religion and politics, you know. Yeah, because that's a lot of the conversations that we have around the table or whatever.

19:52 You know, we talk about family and that kind of stuff, and that's good. Yeah, and we need to be relational. Understand to that your whole motivation from going for going to a Thanksgiving dinner or having time with your family, went over at Christmas or whatever. It's not just so you can you push your agenda. You actually love these people when you want to be around them, most of them, right, but but even those who you don't want to be around, ultimately the desire would be that you build a better relationship with them so that you know you can bring some more truth to them so they're as and ears are open to hear the truth when I think one of the principles you're going to get to, and I think this is very important in not ramming it down their throat, will get into the principle about you know, maybe there's an appropriate time and timing, not only how you present it, but your timing and when this discussion comes up. Yeah, yeah, so, really so. That next principle is look for opportunities to introduce abortion into the conversation. Naturally, right, and and let's see, was that giving derived all of them a reason? Yeah, so give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason, for the hope that is in you. I think that is key. Yeah, who asks you?

21:06 Yeah, if someone has asked you and you can channel whatever that question was into a discussion of God of abortion, they're going to be so much more receptive than if you have forced it upon them, so forced into the conversation with it's just not a natural flow of the conversation. Right. So they maybe you're having a conversation about, you know, aunt betsy that's in the hospital or whatever. You can lead that conversation into a natural conversation about the Lord and ultimately things. But like just jumping right out Saya and Bussis in the hospital. You know, abortions, we can right, probably not going to be. It's not the natural flow of the of the conversation.

21:48 Take something like that and and then and you know and say you know it. It breaks my heart. You know, I I often think of people that are, you know, in in mortal illness or whatever they might die, and I and I care so much about their eternal soul and and where they where they're going to go. Way And you know, kind of steering it again, that becomes ultimately a gospel question. Yeah, where do where? And how does our eternal soul go to heaven, which I think is the hope of most people, unless you truly have no belief, that belief in God. Yeah, so just maybe kind of where you take even that example and maybe there's a way to steer it towards what you hope they will ask about, but being careful that we're not ramming it down their throat.

22:38 You have a line that I love, something about dump your Bible, but not too hard. Yeah, right, yeah, thump your Bible, use the word of God, but just don't thump it too hard. Don't write it down, people say, you know, yeah, I think that applies here. But so how how do we then? A defense to anyone who asks you, as I was reading that more carefully, a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. That's what the defense is of. Yeah, the hope that is in you. Yeah, and I think that comes into sort of even along lines of the first or that second principle that we talked about, which is testimonies. Yeah, and you know, testimonies are powerful testimonies it comes to you. Know, I can with about my phone if I'm talking to a family member.

23:26 Matter of fact, I date it with my aunt couple years ago whenever, you know, some of the tension sort of died down, or at least, you know, as I'd gotten a little wiser. How I present things is that, you know, I'll just show her pictures on my phone of babies that have been saved at the abortion clinic. Not Not in some like Oh, look at this, yeah, but I'd be like, you know, this mom came to this abortional I'll share the story and this is what we were able to do, you know, and you know, my aunt really was receptive to that and really didn't shoot. As a matter of fact, I think she said, I'm glad you guys are doing something to try to help, and that is the lot different than what it was years past, when it was you know, you're a bigot in your this and you're that. Yeah, so, sharing testimonies that you've seen, but also, and that, when the hope that lies within you, is sharing your testimony, you know, sharing your testimony, course, your testimony of how you came to know the Lord, but even sharing, you know, when talking about the issue of abortion, sharing how you came to some of the conclusions that you did. You know, sharing that as a believer, you know, I could share. Personally, I was apathetic towards the issue of abortion until I went to an abortion clinic to for the first time and I saw women go in and I knew they were going in with a baby and they were leaving, leaving their dead child, and so so sharing the testimony of how you came to some of the conclusions, how the Lord Open Your eyes and open your heart and certain areas can also be sharing that. You know, about that hope that lies within you. Yeah, and you're given a defense for that hope. So you are, you are defending that that hope is a valid hope. Yeah, there is evidence in your life and scripture

25:00 that that it is a hope that is worth defending. Kind of implicit in that statement this hope is worth yeah, and you know, I'd say to you know, if you like, you have a personal testimony of having had abortion in your past, having had an abortion, you could share you the hope that laws within you. You've been devastated in your past by an abortion. You know what it does to a human heart, you know what it does to a woman right, and you can share with a family member you know, of course, naturally within the conversation. Yeah, that hope that allows within you, even though you've been there, done that, you know what God can do is well, yeah, in fact, I remember when my wonderful sister, I love her great deeply, but she very different politically religiously than I am, and when I was first going public with my own abortion and I was on the sidewalk. I'm not sure I had even I'm not sure I had gone public yet that I had had an abortion, but I was sharing testimonies from the sidewalk all the time facebook and my sister wrote to me and said, what about your own abortion? Yeah, so here was, this is exactly. This was where she asked me and I was able to turn that around. I think she was asking you're a hypocrite.

26:21 I think that was kind of the the intent of that question, but I was able to turn it around to it is exactly because of my own abortion that I am out on that sidewalk, because I know what the the sorrow that will follow post aboard of women for really their whole life. Yeah, and and I'm there to tell them there is hope there is a better way, so it would say. It flowed naturally. She asked me. I didn't force that opinion on her. It completely turned around how she perceived what I was doing completely. From that day forward I never got another comment even remotely like that. In fact, I believe she deeply respects and supports what I do. So that I think that's an example when when we do things by biblical principles, it that we often do get a very different result.

27:12 Yeah, yeah, one things I do want to point out too. With this scripture there's a there's an immediate context of the scripture. Peters talking about in the midst of persecution, being persecuted by a tyrannical government. So of course you were not just saying you these these principles are only put in there for this. But I think there are principles, even out of the immediate context, that can be drawn out and they can help us, and that's what's going on here. So it's not like, you know, you're sitting around the you know, the the Thanksgiving table, and you're being persecuted. You if you have sort of a martyr or persecution complex, you think maybe because everybody doesn't agree with you. You know you're being persecuted. That's not true, right, but you know these principles are important and you do have a hope in you. I don't know that. You know, some might say, well, based on this, I need to give a defense if they ask. So I don't really even need to pipe up unless I'm asked about so why do you believe abortions from? I don't think we need to just say well, our mouths need to be shut about Jesus, about abortion, about whatever issue, until somebody asks. The principle here, I think, is one of being able to give a defense, to be to give a well well thought out defense, but again, not to force the issue in such a way that's being purposely like you're going out of your way to offend people. You can look for opportunities, yeah, which maybe is a gentler way than of saying you know, of saying you don't need to wait till your ass. You can, but you can look for opportunities and how how to weave your very sincere, heartfelt desires to discuss this subject into a

28:51 family because you know, I abhore that statement. Preach the Gospel at all times and, when necessary, use words. You might. You might take this. It's a cop out for a lot of people. You know, preach the Gospel around my family and I'll just be really nice to them, be really nice to my kids. You should be nice to them. You should be nice to your kids, whatever. You know. Yeah, Your Life should display the gospel of Jesus. Right, but preaching the Gospel, you actually use the words when necessary. These words. It's always necessary to use words to preach the Gospel, folks. Okay, public service announcement. So anyway, right, and we've been we've had that discussion before, but it does bear repeating that that. Yes, absolutely, the Bible commands us to speak over out the open your mouth for this. Speechless is, but you don't have to be a jerk while doing it. How about that?

29:34 That's right, and that's our fourth point. Okay, is read the leave it. Read, write. So yet, so all these things that came before that, you're giving the defense. Yet do it with gentleness and respect. Okay, do it with gentle thanks out in my family, guess, help me to do this with gentleness, gentleness and respect. I mean that ties into the second timothy passage where it says that the servant of the Lord must not fight, but must be gentle to all, answering those who in opposition in humility. So this is a certain this is a thread that we see through all the scriptures that Christian ministers, people who are going to Minister The Gospel, need to do it gentleness, need to do it respectfully, need to do it humbly. There's a certain amount of humility that we got to have. Yeah, and I think it's particularly hard for me in the subjects that that I feel the most passionate about. Yeah, because I see, you know, I look with horror on on what happens in an abortion.

30:37 I'm well informed, yeah, what happens in an abortion, and and I you know, it makes me angry. It makes me angry that that babies are being slaughtered and people who know nothing about it are are saying, but a woman should have a right to choose her body, her choice, and and it makes me mad. And that works against this very command to speak the things that the hope that is in you is probably for all of us, something we're very passionate about. Yeah, we're supposed to express our opinion with gentleness and yes, back and this is going back to that first principle that we need sanctify the Lord or honor the Lord in our hearts as holy. Don't let your zeal get before get before honor in the Lord.

31:25 You know, zeal without knowledge. The Bible Warns Against Zeal Without Knowledge and I'll look back to my early days as a believer at times with my family where I've basically told them all they're wrong and they're going to hell and probably that many words, and I was gonna say not so many words, probably just that you know, you're all going to hell. Don't know God. You know. And I look back and I was like that was just zeal without knowledge, like I wanted them to come to know the Lord. I really did want them to know Jesus. I really did want for them to be saved, but my zeal without knowledge really dishonored the Lord and sort of, you know, cause them to sort of keep me at arms and length rather than you having a reasoned conversation with them in gentleness and respect. I would did some things that were very disrespectful. So let me ask you this.

32:09 Okay, so how do you speak respectfully to someone you don't respect? Okay, that's a tough one. That is it. That is the very goodling that that often on Saturday's right. Yeah, we have some. Yeah, so so, but it's gonna but I think it's an important question. Yeah, because, okay, are there people that that like this, this doesn't apply to or? Well, I don't think that there are. I think that you know our speech. I think it has almost nothing to do with the person, everything to do with the person of Christ and what God's Word says that there needs to be a gentleness in respect. Now, of course we know, with Jesus as our example, there was a firmness and a loudness, I'd say it sometimes, that Jesus used right. He rebuked the Pharisees very staunchly. You'll see with Paul at one point. You know, he rebukes a the pro council and ultimately God strikes him with blindness.

33:08 Yeah, there's a place for that, there's a place for that sort of rebuke, but I don't think sitting around the Thanksgiving table, is that there's there's this gentleness in respect that we've got to have rather than a prophetic rebuke to all of our family and talking to them and talking through these things, even though there are might be family members that we don't respect. Yeah, I think we respect them as human beings made in the image of God, and I'll say, especially if you're talking like grandparents or your parents, that you are commanded to respect them and to honor them, not to shame them in the way that you talk to them. People who are older than you, there's your scriptural principle of honoring your elders. Now, they may be godless unbelievers, you can still honor them as those who have lived longer than you and there's some wisdom. Listen, I've learned some wisdom some from some of my family members that don't know God right, but they have experience in life that I've never had and they can speak some things into my life.

34:09 As long as I process it through scripture, that can really benefit me. So coming from that angle and respecting them because they've been living longer than you is important nothing. Yeah, I mean, and and I really like where you went with that right away. Taking it to the the respect is not for their views. Yeah, we're the where they are spiritually. The respect is because they're human beings made in the image of a holy God and because, in that manner, if that's the reason for respect. You could apply that to every single person. Yeah, yeah, that you interact with. And I know there are, like you said, there are times that Jesus should righteous sing or when you overturned the tables. He didn't E. Tell Peter get behind me saying yeah, so, I mean, yeah, there's there is a place for rebukeke and righteous anger. But yeah, hopefully a family gathering. It's well, I think, least for that. I think we know, we know practically what's you know what will honor the Lord and what will not, especially when we're in his word and we bathe this this and pray. Are you not encourage you guys, before you're going to have your Thanksgiving me or before you're going to have your Christmas dinner or your Christmas family time, pray, Lord, how can? Who Do you want me to reach in my family? who you already dealing with? God's already dealing with some of their hearts probably, and you know, God open those doors and God will open those doors, you know. You know, I'd say the angry rebuke in the life of Jesus was the exception rather than the rule.

35:37 Even in Peter and Paul's life and their confrontation with certain leaders and all of that you need. Mostly it's in a governmental capacity. Jesus is dealing with the Pharisees, or so sort of a governmental position. Same Way with Paul. He's dealing with government authority. And we're not talking about governmental authorities, we're talking about your family. We're talking about those who you've known for a long time, which can make it even more difficult sometimes. Yeah, that's why it's important to bathe these things in prayer. Yeah, and you know, thinking about gentleness. What does that look like? Gentleness like, bouncing off of your point. Often Times with family you know each other very well and and sometimes we don't treat each other well because, you know, familiarity breeds contempt. Yeah, that that you just you know that. Basically, I think you know the they'll always be there to love you. You're irritated, I think, more easily, yeah, by the things that you see every day. that it just builds. So gentleness. I think about that because I don't think I am naturally a gentle yeah person, but I wander from up North's not right. And and so you know, kind of what does gentleness look like? And I know two things that in my mind, when I feel people are gentle with me. There's two things that that I think of. Number One, they listen. Yeah, you can tell they're listening. That's a gentleness. Yeah, and the second is they don't

37:08 call me names. Yes, and they don't put me down, or even sarcasm can. I mean some sarcasm is funny, but they're there is a point where sarcasm can be cruel. So so to me those are two important aspects of jet and we talked about that even as one of these principles, even though we didn't make it one of the principles, is that you know, listening to people and what they actually believe and what their convictions and things are. You know, when you're talking through and you're having a conversation, actually listening is an important part of being gentle. You kind of just slow down. Ultimately, it's not your job to convince someone of the truth. The Holy Spirit will do that and they have to yield to him. So you just slow down, listen to what they have to say and then the Lord will give you things to respond to them. You know, as you're listening to what their convictions are. If you're listening, you know a lot of times if you listen to what people's heartfelt convictions are, the reasoned out convictions are. I say that with air quotes, because you realize most of these aren't reasoned out very much. Yeah, there are a lot of its emotional. Yeah, or there's commonalities you didn't know existed as actually listen to them. You know something it doesn't say in this verse. Listening again to what you just said, that giving a defense to anyone who ask you for a reason, that is that for the hope that is in you. You do a gentleness respect, it doesn't say, and then changing their minds.

38:37 Yeah, we are not called for the results. We say that all the time to our volunteers out on your side, Balk we're not called for the results. We are called to give the defense, to be the messenger, yeah, of the hope that is within us, which is the Gospel. But it's not our work. Yeah, for it's not our job to change their hard that that in and of itself, I think, can change family dynamics. Y. Yeah, absolutely, you're not thinking I got to change their mind. I mean that brings about sword inline with that word gentle that word can also be humble or meek. Oh, okay. So your other version said the way. Yeah, the new King Dames actually says with meekness and fear. Okay. And so humility. Everything that we do as believers in Jesus and those who are to bring his message should be done with humility.

39:22 In humility entails recognizing it's not our work that we're doing, it's not our message that we're bringing, it's not our job to convince people to change their minds. Certainly will want to influence them, but ultimately we just were supposed to give the truth. We're supposed to do it with humility and gentleness and and respect. And then they deal with it, you know, they before God and God's dealing with their hearts already. You know, it's between them and the Lord, Right. Yeah, yeah, that's a really freeing point for me, very free it is so o we just we hope this podcast was a blessing to you, guys. We hope that it freeds you up to be a witness in your family, not just talking about the issue of abortion, but talking about the Gospel and and so be blessed with this, with this information that we give you, and and go out and be a witness to your family, be praying, asking the Lord to use you.

40:19 If you want to get trained and equipped to do sidewalk counseling, which is what you hear US talk about a lot of times, you can go to our website, sidewalks for lifecom, sidewalks the number four and lifecom. Hope you guys follow us on Facebook, Charlotte cities for life. You can go to our website, CHARLOTTE DOT cities for Life Dot Org. You can connect with me, dparts at cities for lifecom, or Vicky at Vicki Cossi, or Vikassi Org at cities for lifecom. Let us know what you think about the podcast. Give us some suggestions of future episode. Share the podcast with other people, but until next time, God bless, use, use, give me, give me, cost me my life, but got these two precious