How To Follow Up When They Choose Life

WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.560 --> 00:00:06.280 I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours and me. Welcome 2 00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:09.710 to the Gospel Center pro life podcast. When a mom chooses life at the 3 00:00:09.710 --> 00:00:12.869 abortion center, of course we want to follow up with her, minister to 4 00:00:12.949 --> 00:00:16.629 her and get her plug into a local church and resources, and this episode 5 00:00:16.670 --> 00:00:19.949 we talk about how to do that, some general principles we think will encourage 6 00:00:20.070 --> 00:00:31.859 and equip you. Stay tuned. I felt show Passish, touch your use 7 00:00:32.020 --> 00:00:38.090 me. Welcome to the Gospel centered pro life podcast. Appreciate you guys joining 8 00:00:38.170 --> 00:00:41.810 us and, as always, appreciate if you guys would share this podcast, 9 00:00:42.049 --> 00:00:45.369 share this episode, share just the podcast in general, all the episodes. 10 00:00:45.409 --> 00:00:49.329 I think we're at like a hundred and something here, zipping along, hundred 11 00:00:49.369 --> 00:00:53.159 two, hundred three, maybe even hundred four. Yeah, we're up there 12 00:00:53.159 --> 00:00:56.159 in the hug around. Yeah, we're doing this for a while and there's 13 00:00:56.159 --> 00:00:59.880 a lot of episodes covering a lot of subjects. We try to cover subjects 14 00:00:59.880 --> 00:01:03.079 that really would equip and train you guys for Sidewalk Ministry and other areas of 15 00:01:03.280 --> 00:01:07.829 pro life ministry as well, but really sidewalk ministry with a focus on the 16 00:01:07.909 --> 00:01:11.709 Gospel, for sure. And in this episode we want to cover something that 17 00:01:12.269 --> 00:01:18.269 we hope, will hope will be equipping for you guys. Not just about 18 00:01:18.859 --> 00:01:22.540 because we're not just pro berther's, or not just about being at the abortion 19 00:01:22.579 --> 00:01:26.980 center, but we're about following up. When a mom chooses life. Our 20 00:01:26.099 --> 00:01:30.140 goal is we want to get her plugged into a church. That's our ultimate 21 00:01:30.260 --> 00:01:33.769 goal. We want her discipled and the Lord. Yeah, so we don't 22 00:01:33.769 --> 00:01:36.569 want to just say hey, choose life for your baby so you later. 23 00:01:37.129 --> 00:01:40.689 We want her plugged in. We want that cycle of sin and death that 24 00:01:40.810 --> 00:01:42.129 she's caught up in, that we were caught up in at one time in 25 00:01:42.170 --> 00:01:46.409 our lives exactly, to be broken, right, and we know that cycle 26 00:01:46.530 --> 00:01:49.319 is broken by the follow up and by ultimately getting plugged into a local church, 27 00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:56.159 getting discipleship, mentoring all that stuff. So we're going to talk about 28 00:01:56.879 --> 00:02:00.840 what that looks like. A MOM has chosen life at the abortion center. 29 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:04.469 You applied some of the other awesome principles that we gave you that are really 30 00:02:04.510 --> 00:02:07.150 from the word of God, right, and from our experiences, and she 31 00:02:07.229 --> 00:02:13.349 chose life and she cut a hundred eighty degree turn and not going into the 32 00:02:13.389 --> 00:02:17.060 abortion center, she's choosing a life, she's leaving and what do you do 33 00:02:17.419 --> 00:02:21.580 at that? Right? How do you handle that? She's coming out of 34 00:02:21.620 --> 00:02:25.340 the parking lot and I couldn't do it. How do you how do you 35 00:02:25.460 --> 00:02:29.620 take it from there? Right? Well, there's a whole bunch of things, 36 00:02:29.659 --> 00:02:31.689 yeah, that that need to happen. In the first thing to recognize, 37 00:02:31.729 --> 00:02:35.969 as many women do make that initial choice for life, but if there 38 00:02:36.169 --> 00:02:39.689 is not follow up, and sometimes even if there is, they still return, 39 00:02:39.889 --> 00:02:42.930 yeah, to a board, and we're actually going to talk about that 40 00:02:43.370 --> 00:02:46.159 on another podcast what to do in that case. Yeah. But so the 41 00:02:46.319 --> 00:02:54.919 first thing to recognize is they're returning immediately to the situation that they left and 42 00:02:55.039 --> 00:03:00.590 nothing has changed yet. Yeah, right. So, so we're we're just 43 00:03:00.789 --> 00:03:04.509 in this podcast. We're just going to give some general, general principles about 44 00:03:05.349 --> 00:03:08.710 what what are we going to do generally over the next few days, weeks 45 00:03:08.909 --> 00:03:14.139 to ultimately get them linked up with a with a mentor or with a church 46 00:03:14.460 --> 00:03:17.539 and hopefully on a path right back to God. Yeah, so the first 47 00:03:17.580 --> 00:03:23.699 thing to remember is that those first hours and days are really critical. Yeah. 48 00:03:23.780 --> 00:03:25.020 Absolutely. Yeah, because, like you said, she's going to go 49 00:03:25.099 --> 00:03:29.569 back into that same situation. Just because she chose live at the abortion center 50 00:03:30.090 --> 00:03:32.969 doesn't mean that her boyfriend that was pressure or to have the abortion is now 51 00:03:34.050 --> 00:03:36.530 going to be on board with her having the baby? Right, he might 52 00:03:36.610 --> 00:03:40.129 threaten her even more because she's decided not to. So. So actually the 53 00:03:40.250 --> 00:03:46.000 stresses may even increase. Yeah, as opposed. So she needs someone to 54 00:03:46.159 --> 00:03:50.439 help affirm that choice for life, and that someone is likely going to be 55 00:03:50.599 --> 00:03:53.080 you. So, yeah, will counselor yeah, you're not going to be 56 00:03:53.120 --> 00:03:54.400 able to do that. So I want to I want to kind of give 57 00:03:55.430 --> 00:04:00.750 before we get into these kind of broader or even more deep principles, just 58 00:04:01.069 --> 00:04:06.030 practical principles of again, she's stopped in the driveway on the way out. 59 00:04:06.710 --> 00:04:11.740 I couldn't do it. How do you take it from there's what's that look 60 00:04:11.780 --> 00:04:13.979 like? Yeah, okay. Well, the first thing that I would do 61 00:04:14.259 --> 00:04:16.220 is hand her the literature with my name and number on it. Save this 62 00:04:16.420 --> 00:04:19.220 is me. My name is Vicki. I am here to help you, 63 00:04:19.540 --> 00:04:24.060 and you may call this number at any time, day or night, when 64 00:04:24.060 --> 00:04:27.370 I'm sleeping my phones off. Don't ever be worried about waking me up. 65 00:04:27.689 --> 00:04:30.050 I will get back to you as soon as I wake up. Yeah, 66 00:04:30.250 --> 00:04:33.850 so I make sure she knows she may contact me and and give her my 67 00:04:33.930 --> 00:04:39.160 number. If I am with it, which some days I'm not, I 68 00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:42.160 get her number. Yeah, I'll often say, let me send you a 69 00:04:42.240 --> 00:04:45.160 text to make sure that you have my number. So that's the tricky way. 70 00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:46.920 Yeah, in case they're yeah, okay, in case they're a little 71 00:04:46.920 --> 00:04:50.439 bit worried about giving my number. I don't always remember to do this, 72 00:04:50.600 --> 00:04:58.269 but it's so good if you can, and usually they'll give it to me. 73 00:04:58.589 --> 00:05:00.269 Yeah, and or they'll let me send them a text and then I 74 00:05:00.589 --> 00:05:04.750 will say where I we give them a blessing bag and if what that is, 75 00:05:04.829 --> 00:05:11.339 it's just a small gift bag with various baby stuff to remind them of 76 00:05:11.500 --> 00:05:15.100 the choice for life, baby bottles, blankets, things like that. And 77 00:05:15.180 --> 00:05:18.939 and then I tell her briefly, hey, can you pull over and let 78 00:05:18.939 --> 00:05:23.209 me talk with you about the the resources that we have that can help you? 79 00:05:23.569 --> 00:05:26.250 Right, so that right from the get go she's got my name and 80 00:05:26.329 --> 00:05:30.970 number, I've got her name and number. She's already got something tangible that 81 00:05:30.170 --> 00:05:33.730 she's can hold and drive home looking at that reminds her the baby. We 82 00:05:33.810 --> 00:05:39.120 also put a Bible in there. Yeah, and then the with the promise 83 00:05:39.240 --> 00:05:43.240 of more to come. That there's more resources to come, and then I 84 00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:46.920 let her know I'm going to be calling her probably that afternoon to discuss in 85 00:05:47.040 --> 00:05:51.189 further detail all the help we can offer. So it's a conversation hopefully she 86 00:05:51.430 --> 00:05:55.870 wants to have and she's more likely to pick up the phone. I'm not 87 00:05:55.870 --> 00:05:59.629 going to go. I almost never say and then I'm going to be sharing 88 00:05:59.670 --> 00:06:03.149 the Gospel with you, even though that is fully my intention, but I 89 00:06:03.269 --> 00:06:06.779 know that that would probably scare away yes, to the women and they might 90 00:06:06.819 --> 00:06:10.779 not let me, they might not pick up the phone right yeah, so 91 00:06:10.939 --> 00:06:14.899 that's the immediate practical stuff that I do. Yeah, it's that kind of 92 00:06:14.980 --> 00:06:16.699 what you do. That's what I do. I got typically will try to 93 00:06:16.779 --> 00:06:20.170 get their phone number, because if you just give them your phone number and 94 00:06:20.170 --> 00:06:24.610 you leave it on them, a lot of times either they're going to lose 95 00:06:24.649 --> 00:06:26.810 it or just like they're not going to do it. So if I can 96 00:06:26.850 --> 00:06:29.730 get them in the moment, right there, and typically I'll do it with 97 00:06:29.850 --> 00:06:31.879 the with the men, but I'll do it with the ladies too, and 98 00:06:31.920 --> 00:06:34.480 I'll even say hey, can I have my wife follow up with you later 99 00:06:34.519 --> 00:06:38.480 or can I think you follow with you later? Yeah, kind of push 100 00:06:38.519 --> 00:06:40.759 those off on the women more. Yeah, it's just, you know, 101 00:06:40.839 --> 00:06:45.680 one look like stalker exactly, but it's not totally inappropriate to follow up. 102 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:48.589 But I would get their phone number. I would right there, as I'm 103 00:06:48.670 --> 00:06:51.509 on my phone, I'd say, what's your number? I will text them. 104 00:06:51.910 --> 00:06:55.709 You've put their phone number in the text thing, you know, and 105 00:06:55.750 --> 00:06:59.670 then put my name there. Yeah, your parks, boom, hand it 106 00:06:59.709 --> 00:07:01.420 out to him. Right that way, they've got my number, I've got 107 00:07:01.540 --> 00:07:06.420 their's. And then later on in the day, probably if this happened in 108 00:07:06.500 --> 00:07:12.220 the morning, late afternoon, early evening, something like that, shoot him 109 00:07:12.220 --> 00:07:15.100 a text and just say, Hey, this is Daniel, this is the 110 00:07:15.139 --> 00:07:17.930 guy you met at the abortion center, or might not say abortion center, 111 00:07:17.970 --> 00:07:20.329 I might say I prefer woman's Hill Center or something like that, or the 112 00:07:20.410 --> 00:07:25.569 women's clinic or something, so that it's not so kind of out there, 113 00:07:25.610 --> 00:07:27.889 I guess. Okay, somebody else is looking at their phone, sure, 114 00:07:28.250 --> 00:07:31.199 and just wondering how things are going and just letting you know we're here and 115 00:07:31.279 --> 00:07:33.959 we're praying for you. So I'm just putting it out there. I've already 116 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:39.120 talked about, like you you mentioned. I've already talked about the stuff that 117 00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:43.000 we can do to help, and they've likely already told me what were their 118 00:07:43.079 --> 00:07:45.629 needs right. So I don't need to reach back out and find out what 119 00:07:45.709 --> 00:07:47.790 their needs are and I don't need to reach back out and find in tell 120 00:07:47.870 --> 00:07:50.069 them, hey, we're going to help. You've already told them that we 121 00:07:50.149 --> 00:07:54.029 would. I'm just going to reach back out to touch base with them and 122 00:07:54.110 --> 00:07:57.949 let them know that I'm praying for them, basically let them know that I 123 00:07:57.990 --> 00:08:00.540 care. Yeah, exactly, and I will. I will add to that. 124 00:08:00.660 --> 00:08:03.660 I often send a verse. I often pick a verse that I really 125 00:08:03.740 --> 00:08:07.620 think is an appropriate verse and say, I hope this is an encouragement to 126 00:08:07.740 --> 00:08:11.620 you, right, so that I'm again introducing the idea of God. The 127 00:08:11.740 --> 00:08:15.649 people that this podcast is going out too may or may not have mentorship programs, 128 00:08:15.689 --> 00:08:18.170 may not be involved with love life, but if you are, if 129 00:08:18.250 --> 00:08:22.209 you have a church backing, if you have mentors, it's really important to 130 00:08:22.850 --> 00:08:26.319 sign them up, yeah, for that mentorship program as soon as possible. 131 00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:31.600 I know we've talked about this many times on podcast. They have an they 132 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:35.639 had an appointment with death. Yeah, and they're so funny. So many 133 00:08:35.720 --> 00:08:37.679 times I will hear women say, I got to go, I have an 134 00:08:37.720 --> 00:08:41.830 appointment? Yeah, and the same they have an appointment with death when they're 135 00:08:41.830 --> 00:08:46.470 going in for an abortion. But this same that same mindset that I've not 136 00:08:46.549 --> 00:08:50.110 an appointment. I need to keep the appointment. Can work with you and 137 00:08:50.269 --> 00:08:52.070 with the choice for life if you can set up an appointment. Yeah, 138 00:08:52.190 --> 00:08:56.940 with the mentor. Yeah. So, so get them signed up right for 139 00:08:56.019 --> 00:09:00.860 the mentor as as a huge call them later on in that day. That's 140 00:09:00.860 --> 00:09:05.019 actually not just text them and encouraging text or something. I'm praying for you, 141 00:09:05.100 --> 00:09:07.179 but R I would just you call him and say, Hey, let 142 00:09:07.220 --> 00:09:09.850 me set you up with the mentor program I would. And two things. 143 00:09:11.129 --> 00:09:13.090 One other thing I wanted to mention. When you said text, I definitely 144 00:09:13.129 --> 00:09:18.730 would text in terms of that first little thing that you're that little nudge and 145 00:09:18.850 --> 00:09:22.129 are you doing well, because it's so much less intrusive than a phone call 146 00:09:22.289 --> 00:09:26.399 or even an email, and many people don't check email, but almost everyone 147 00:09:26.440 --> 00:09:30.960 should. Sees that text and making it so that they don't necessarily have to 148 00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:37.080 respond. Sometimes I figured having it just show care without asking questions is good 149 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:41.309 because then they they don't feel put on the spot. And then the the 150 00:09:41.509 --> 00:09:46.470 next thing is is to yeah, I set them up with a mentor as 151 00:09:46.549 --> 00:09:50.029 as soon as possible. If when you have stopped them, you said, 152 00:09:50.070 --> 00:09:54.379 sometimes you already know the main issues. Right. Usually I know one maybe, 153 00:09:54.580 --> 00:09:58.740 but not always. Actually, I don't always get that information. I 154 00:09:58.500 --> 00:10:03.580 will often ask what changed your mind, because I want to be able to 155 00:10:03.659 --> 00:10:09.490 use that down the road right in counseling them, because if it changed their 156 00:10:09.529 --> 00:10:15.090 mind once, hopefully it'll continue to change their mind. But, um, 157 00:10:16.289 --> 00:10:20.370 but I don't, I I don't often ask what the obstacles are until later, 158 00:10:20.409 --> 00:10:24.360 right in a more extended conversation, which I hope to have later that 159 00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:28.720 day. Okay, but anyway, who the counselor needs to stay in touch 160 00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:33.919 until the mentor is appointed or until you have followed up with a church or 161 00:10:33.159 --> 00:10:37.470 someone who is plugged into this woman's life. And if you don't have like 162 00:10:37.590 --> 00:10:41.429 you mentioned, if you don't have love life in your area and you're just 163 00:10:41.669 --> 00:10:45.669 getting this podcast as an individuals out there, maybe under your local church or 164 00:10:45.669 --> 00:10:50.139 whatever, I can guarantee you there are people within your local church that would 165 00:10:50.139 --> 00:10:52.620 be willing to and maybe they can't go out to the sidewalk, but they'd 166 00:10:52.620 --> 00:10:54.539 be willing to raise their hand and say I will walk alongside a mom that 167 00:10:54.580 --> 00:10:58.940 chooses life. Yeah, that's one of the ways that you can build relationships 168 00:10:58.980 --> 00:11:03.179 with churches actually is reach out to churches and say, and you know, 169 00:11:03.450 --> 00:11:07.769 all I'm looking for is for people, I would normally say, older women 170 00:11:07.809 --> 00:11:11.690 in your congregation that come alongside a young lady that chooses life for her baby. 171 00:11:11.730 --> 00:11:15.409 Do you have anybody like that? So, if I was building a 172 00:11:15.490 --> 00:11:18.600 brand new relationship with a pastor, yeah, that's like one of the asks 173 00:11:18.759 --> 00:11:22.480 that I would give. Do you have an older lady in your congregation that 174 00:11:22.679 --> 00:11:26.039 you that comes to the forefront of your mind, that would disciple and walk 175 00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:28.600 alongside a young lady that chooses life out here on the sidewalk right? Yeah, 176 00:11:28.720 --> 00:11:33.789 and make that connection. Let it be an organic connection. Doesn't necessarily 177 00:11:33.830 --> 00:11:35.830 have to be. And we've got like a mentor agreement and stuff that we 178 00:11:35.990 --> 00:11:39.950 work through because we want to there to be an understanding for the the Woman 179 00:11:39.950 --> 00:11:45.629 Who's being mentor and then the mentor, the ones who's doing the mentory right, 180 00:11:45.750 --> 00:11:46.980 so that there's some kind of agreement there. We just found that to 181 00:11:48.059 --> 00:11:52.860 be really helpful to help solidify that relationship and the expectation to the expectations are 182 00:11:52.899 --> 00:11:56.779 set makes it official and all that stuff doesn't necessarily have to be like that. 183 00:11:58.340 --> 00:12:01.210 It can just be an organic thing that happens as you make that connection, 184 00:12:01.289 --> 00:12:05.129 when that got will say, though, the temptation for us being on 185 00:12:05.169 --> 00:12:09.529 the sidewalk is for us to do all of the follow up, all of 186 00:12:09.610 --> 00:12:13.370 the mentoring, all of the relationship building, and one of the reasons why 187 00:12:13.450 --> 00:12:16.799 we set up the mental a program is so that the sidewalk counselors don't get 188 00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:20.200 burned out, because you can do everything, you try to do everything and 189 00:12:20.279 --> 00:12:24.720 you'll do nothing well. Right. So handing off to a mentor is really 190 00:12:24.840 --> 00:12:31.350 important, and so that that handing off can become difficult because remember the woman, 191 00:12:31.389 --> 00:12:35.389 I know we've said this before, considers that first person who threw a 192 00:12:35.470 --> 00:12:39.230 lifeline, which is the counselor. Yeah, they're like their best buddy. 193 00:12:39.230 --> 00:12:43.190 Yeah, they recognize that that person really saved them from a disastrous choice. 194 00:12:43.269 --> 00:12:46.860 Yeah, and sometimes it's very hard to transfer their trust from the counselor to 195 00:12:46.899 --> 00:12:50.539 the mentor. This, sooner it happens the better. A group text is 196 00:12:50.659 --> 00:12:54.460 a good way to do it, yeah, or a group email where, 197 00:12:54.700 --> 00:12:58.379 or even a group call, facetime call. I usually do a group text 198 00:12:58.649 --> 00:13:05.049 where you're introducing them to the mentor, and it helps if the counselor who 199 00:13:05.129 --> 00:13:09.889 has originally counsel that woman already has a good idea of the obstacles that the 200 00:13:09.970 --> 00:13:11.610 woman cases. So you're going to get that, hopefully within the next couple 201 00:13:11.649 --> 00:13:15.879 days. So tell me about your situation, what it is that you're facing 202 00:13:16.440 --> 00:13:18.600 that we can help with. Tell me all your issues, and I'll say 203 00:13:18.639 --> 00:13:24.039 that tell me everything you're facing that is of concern and while doing that, 204 00:13:24.200 --> 00:13:28.710 be careful never to promise really anything, but for sure don't promise what you 205 00:13:28.750 --> 00:13:33.029 can't provide. Yeah, be sure that if you're going to make a promise, 206 00:13:33.669 --> 00:13:37.389 you know that you will be able to provide that. The last thing 207 00:13:37.470 --> 00:13:41.659 that woman needs is a betrayal, which she's often probably had a lot of 208 00:13:41.700 --> 00:13:46.179 betrayal in her life, including the father of the baby who is probably telling 209 00:13:46.220 --> 00:13:50.860 her to aboard. Yeah, so you want to be very careful to promise 210 00:13:50.059 --> 00:13:56.929 carefully. So, so that's one of the main points that you want to 211 00:13:56.970 --> 00:14:03.730 be sure that you know the obstacles, maybe even know some of the resources. 212 00:14:03.970 --> 00:14:07.570 Yeah, in the area. Pregnancy Resource Center is one of the most 213 00:14:07.649 --> 00:14:11.600 key to know in the area and then you can share that with the mentor 214 00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:16.879 and then let her know, because you're providing hope as the middle person before 215 00:14:18.039 --> 00:14:22.639 she's transferred to the mentor. You're keeping her hopeful. Yeah, so that 216 00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:26.190 she doesn't end up back at the abortion center in that inner room. Yeah, 217 00:14:26.309 --> 00:14:28.509 before there's someone that can disciple and follow her. Yeah. Absolutely. 218 00:14:28.549 --> 00:14:37.870 Yeah. So, as in so many of our podcast introduce God. Introduce 219 00:14:37.990 --> 00:14:41.700 God right away, and I don't know how you do it. I I 220 00:14:41.940 --> 00:14:48.580 often just say you've just made a really amazing choice for life, and I 221 00:14:48.700 --> 00:14:52.370 will I will often say what is the most valuable thing that you can give 222 00:14:52.370 --> 00:14:56.929 your child? They almost always say love. Yeah, and I say love 223 00:14:56.009 --> 00:15:00.730 is really important, but you know what, I think there's something even more 224 00:15:00.769 --> 00:15:03.889 important, and they're usually intrigued because I think of what could be more important. 225 00:15:03.889 --> 00:15:07.440 They they'll sometimes say money. Right, no, not money. God, 226 00:15:07.919 --> 00:15:11.440 and and then they'll usually agree with me and I'll say what can I 227 00:15:11.559 --> 00:15:16.519 talk with you about God, and then that can begin to introduce. That's 228 00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:20.720 that's often my introduction. Yeah, how I will share the Gospel, which 229 00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:24.909 I try to do within that first day or two. Yeah, we always 230 00:15:24.950 --> 00:15:31.029 want to, like it's not like we're requiring them to respond positive positively to 231 00:15:31.870 --> 00:15:35.379 conversation about Jesus or when we share the Gospel, like to get our resources. 232 00:15:35.500 --> 00:15:39.100 You have to be you have to give your life to Jesus or anything 233 00:15:39.100 --> 00:15:41.179 like that. But we do want them to understand that all of the things 234 00:15:41.220 --> 00:15:45.899 that we're doing, because we're helping them with a lot of stuff, baby 235 00:15:45.940 --> 00:15:50.330 shower mentor program connection with local resources and all that stuff, right, all 236 00:15:50.370 --> 00:15:54.730 of that flows out of our love for Jesus in his love for them. 237 00:15:54.769 --> 00:15:58.450 So we're always we're always talking about the Lord, we're always talking about what 238 00:15:58.610 --> 00:16:04.720 God you just bringing God into the equation. Yeah, Um, and of 239 00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:07.600 course the point, like the whole point of while we're out here, the 240 00:16:07.720 --> 00:16:11.200 whole point of why we're encouraging you to choose life, is because what God 241 00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:15.600 says about your baby and what God says about you and reiterating God's love for 242 00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:21.309 them and God's love for their baby and helping solidifies their thinking about because again, 243 00:16:21.350 --> 00:16:26.190 they're going back into a potentially a catastrophic situation, Yep, to help 244 00:16:26.309 --> 00:16:29.990 build a fortification of hope for them, which, you know, God, 245 00:16:30.309 --> 00:16:33.620 God, calls himself the God of hope. Right. Fill you with all 246 00:16:33.700 --> 00:16:37.980 joy and peace and believing, and so we want to build this fortification of 247 00:16:37.100 --> 00:16:41.539 hope around them, and we do that about talking about the Lord, to 248 00:16:41.620 --> 00:16:45.940 talking about his faithfulness, talking about his goodness, and so just continuing to 249 00:16:47.019 --> 00:16:51.570 talk about that is really helpful and help her not to come back. I 250 00:16:51.690 --> 00:16:56.450 agree to totally ID and I it's I think it's even more critical in someone 251 00:16:56.529 --> 00:17:00.090 who's wobbly for the choice of life that you're saying this is a shaky save. 252 00:17:00.409 --> 00:17:03.919 That's what we call him, shaky savee. I'm not sure she's not 253 00:17:03.079 --> 00:17:07.400 super convicted for the choice of life. Yeah, so the Gospel is really 254 00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:10.880 critical. But I do the point you made about make sure that they know 255 00:17:11.319 --> 00:17:15.869 that our resources are not linked to any decision they might make regarding Jesus. 256 00:17:17.029 --> 00:17:18.430 I flat out just say that. I say I want you to know I'm 257 00:17:18.430 --> 00:17:22.269 going to talk with you about the Lord because exactly what you said, this 258 00:17:22.309 --> 00:17:26.269 is why I do what what I do. This way our ministry exists is 259 00:17:26.390 --> 00:17:30.819 because God has has told us we need to be out here and it is 260 00:17:30.859 --> 00:17:33.619 out of our love for him that we are trying to minister to you and 261 00:17:33.740 --> 00:17:38.019 help you. But I want you to know, no matter what you feel 262 00:17:38.019 --> 00:17:42.140 about God or whether you make a decision to follow Christ or not, it 263 00:17:42.259 --> 00:17:47.289 will in no way affect whether we help you or not. Yeah, and 264 00:17:47.609 --> 00:17:52.930 so I think if you say that right from the beginning, you make sure 265 00:17:52.970 --> 00:17:59.440 there's no misunderstanding that we're trading acceptance of Jesus, submitting your life to Jesus 266 00:17:59.720 --> 00:18:03.400 for goodies, because that would be a very terrible message, right. Yeah. 267 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:11.000 Yeah, so if she does respond by submitting her life to the Lord, 268 00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:15.990 which actually happens not infrequently, then it's important to follow up with the 269 00:18:15.029 --> 00:18:18.750 church. Yeah, and or at least offer a church or find a church 270 00:18:19.430 --> 00:18:25.069 that that's willing to walk alongside her. Yeah, absolutely. And course the 271 00:18:25.190 --> 00:18:30.099 ultimate desires that the mentor would be you one to invite her to church, 272 00:18:30.299 --> 00:18:34.019 right and sits beside her at church. I mean that's happened several times here 273 00:18:34.940 --> 00:18:38.539 in Charlotte and some of our other cities. Yeah, that's ultimate desire. 274 00:18:40.420 --> 00:18:45.210 But I think getting them to a church often times these least for me, 275 00:18:45.450 --> 00:18:49.769 since some out there on Saturdays a lot. Yeah, it's like the next 276 00:18:49.769 --> 00:18:52.049 day, right, the next day is Sunday, and so I'll invite them 277 00:18:52.089 --> 00:18:56.759 to church with me. Yeah, just to leave that door open, like 278 00:18:56.759 --> 00:19:00.279 would you come to church with us or you can sit with our family? 279 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:03.880 Yeah, and so beget them pluged into a church is, of course, 280 00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:10.269 really important press that discipleship piece that they need. Yeah, and a very 281 00:19:10.349 --> 00:19:15.109 important general principle. If she doesn't respond, keep trying, don't give up. 282 00:19:15.349 --> 00:19:18.869 It is not uncommon for them not to respond. First of all, 283 00:19:18.950 --> 00:19:23.150 sometimes they're going home to total chaos other children. Yeah, they work a 284 00:19:23.230 --> 00:19:30.220 lot, often times, sometimes really not very desirable jobs that are made late 285 00:19:30.299 --> 00:19:33.380 into the night or whatever, earlier early in the morning. So if she 286 00:19:33.460 --> 00:19:37.890 doesn't respond, it doesn't necessarily mean that she's given up on the baby or 287 00:19:38.089 --> 00:19:42.170 that she doesn't want you to interact with her. Right, don't give up. 288 00:19:42.289 --> 00:19:47.970 That is such an important point. Keep trying, keep trying to to 289 00:19:48.089 --> 00:19:51.809 reach her. Yeah, I have seen that so many times when I have 290 00:19:51.890 --> 00:19:55.119 been on the brink of giving up and then just I feel God nudge me 291 00:19:55.640 --> 00:19:59.119 don't, don't give up, and it's that next time that I reach out 292 00:19:59.160 --> 00:20:04.400 that she reaches back. Yeah. So absolutely, really, really important if 293 00:20:04.519 --> 00:20:10.269 she expresses doubt and wavering and I'm I've had that happened a lot too. 294 00:20:10.470 --> 00:20:15.470 Yeah, and so sometimes a text is not enough. Especially if they say 295 00:20:15.470 --> 00:20:19.589 I've made an appointment, we're going back, and I have then often said 296 00:20:19.950 --> 00:20:22.619 would you meet me for lunch? Yeah, they often will. Yeah, 297 00:20:22.700 --> 00:20:29.019 I say I'll ay. They get a free launch and and there's an opportunity 298 00:20:29.099 --> 00:20:34.259 facetoface, which is probably always better if you've really got a a continuing abortion 299 00:20:34.339 --> 00:20:41.809 to try, and so investing personally in them, as it does take time 300 00:20:41.930 --> 00:20:45.890 and effort, and ideally a mentor would be doing that. But if there 301 00:20:45.970 --> 00:20:49.039 is not a mentor yet assigned, or maybe she has flat out refused to 302 00:20:49.079 --> 00:20:55.720 mentor, I think sometimes we are called to go that extra mile because that 303 00:20:55.799 --> 00:21:00.319 baby's life is on the line. Yeah, absolutely, so open build that 304 00:21:00.440 --> 00:21:04.869 relationship and helping. Just let her see that you care for her outside of 305 00:21:04.950 --> 00:21:10.269 the scenario at the abortion center. That's right, you are there for her. 306 00:21:11.549 --> 00:21:14.470 Again, the ultimate desires that a mentor would do this. Yeah, 307 00:21:14.509 --> 00:21:17.430 the body of Christ working together, different pieces, you know, the side 308 00:21:17.430 --> 00:21:19.940 will counsel with the Mentor, the Churches, all that working together. Yeah, 309 00:21:21.460 --> 00:21:22.819 but sometimes you've got a feel in, at least for a while. 310 00:21:22.859 --> 00:21:27.420 Yeah, with that you yeah, missing peace, which is that relational piece. 311 00:21:27.619 --> 00:21:33.529 Yeah, that's certainly biblical not to give up to persevere until you have 312 00:21:33.930 --> 00:21:37.970 gained the prize, and that's talking, of course, about eternal life. 313 00:21:38.369 --> 00:21:44.970 But the prize in this case is is the woman staying solid, yeah, 314 00:21:45.130 --> 00:21:48.680 in her choice for life and hopefully turning her life over to the Lord. 315 00:21:48.079 --> 00:21:52.559 And let's say she's got an a mentor, she has accepted a mentor. 316 00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:56.799 Yeah, the next pitfall for the sidewalk counselor as you've just invested a lot 317 00:21:57.359 --> 00:22:02.509 in that woman. It may have only been two days worth, but it's 318 00:22:02.549 --> 00:22:06.509 a huge investment and to just shut that off is often very difficult for the 319 00:22:06.589 --> 00:22:10.470 sideball counselor and it to like then give her over entirely to the mentor. 320 00:22:10.710 --> 00:22:14.430 But you need to. Yeah, you need to. And and so the 321 00:22:14.589 --> 00:22:18.339 women also sometimes have a hard time just disconnecting from the counselor. And what 322 00:22:18.500 --> 00:22:22.500 we advise all of our counselors is you need to just say, have you 323 00:22:22.619 --> 00:22:26.779 talked to your mentor about this? When she continues to call you, which 324 00:22:26.859 --> 00:22:30.529 does happen again frequently, have you talked to your mentor about this? You 325 00:22:30.609 --> 00:22:33.450 need to contact your mentor and keep gently and kindly. Yeah, yeah, 326 00:22:33.490 --> 00:22:36.250 you know, man, jerk about it. Hey, I can't talk to 327 00:22:36.289 --> 00:22:37.730 you, I gotta be here on the sidewalk, but just let him know 328 00:22:37.890 --> 00:22:41.049 hey did so and so, especially if you know the mentors name or whatever. 329 00:22:41.089 --> 00:22:44.920 It's so and so. Have you reached out of them, because they 330 00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:47.400 really would like to help you out with these things? Right. So, 331 00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:49.880 yeah, nice about it, but the best you can to kind of push 332 00:22:49.880 --> 00:22:52.440 him in that direction of the mentor. Yeah, you can't do it all. 333 00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:56.839 Yeah, much as you might want to. There have been times when 334 00:22:56.200 --> 00:23:00.309 it has been so difficult to connect the mom with the Mentor, and the 335 00:23:00.430 --> 00:23:03.589 Mentor is a great mentor and she's doing great things with the mom where I've 336 00:23:03.630 --> 00:23:07.509 had to tell counselors you're going to need to just not answer the phone. 337 00:23:07.710 --> 00:23:11.990 Right from there there does come a point of kind of tough love because ultimately 338 00:23:11.470 --> 00:23:17.740 you don't want them to end that with their trust in you. You're always 339 00:23:17.859 --> 00:23:22.700 transferring that trust with the ultimate goal that that trust is going to be in 340 00:23:22.940 --> 00:23:26.579 God. Yeah, and their accountability is going to be the local church. 341 00:23:26.619 --> 00:23:30.890 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So those are kind of my main 342 00:23:30.170 --> 00:23:34.930 points. Okay, that that I've come up with in in my follow follow 343 00:23:34.970 --> 00:23:38.250 up. Maybe you have others. Those are the main things I think that 344 00:23:38.369 --> 00:23:45.400 I I try to make sure happen. Yeah, when I've got a a 345 00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:49.359 mom who has chosen life. Yeah, I mean I think we could certainly 346 00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:53.039 just be out there, and we did a podcast about this, where we'd 347 00:23:53.079 --> 00:23:57.990 be certainly justified and just standing out there and speaking against abortion, not offering 348 00:23:59.109 --> 00:24:02.069 any follow up. Yeah, we could certainly be justified in that because, 349 00:24:02.069 --> 00:24:03.750 after all, their killing children inside of there. You know, if there 350 00:24:03.910 --> 00:24:07.349 was a whole if there's a shooter going into the preschool and shooting up a 351 00:24:07.349 --> 00:24:14.180 whole preschool classroom of kids and if we pleaded with him not to shoot those 352 00:24:14.259 --> 00:24:18.220 children, we would be justified. And doing that without even offering any resource 353 00:24:18.420 --> 00:24:21.859 for him or for them or anybody, would right killing people. Right, 354 00:24:22.059 --> 00:24:26.170 we want to try to stop it. So that's true. We could be 355 00:24:26.210 --> 00:24:30.210 out there with just our voices and that's that's all. But how much better 356 00:24:30.410 --> 00:24:33.730 is it, when a mom chooses life, for us to be able to 357 00:24:33.809 --> 00:24:36.809 disciple her, for us to be able to plug her into a church and 358 00:24:36.930 --> 00:24:41.039 listen, here's the thing. This doesn't just serve that mom and that baby 359 00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:45.440 right, to serve to disciple her and to bring her up and her child 360 00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:48.920 up in the ways of the Lord but think of the blessing that is to 361 00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:53.670 that congregation that has a mom that has chosen life in their congregation. Yes, 362 00:24:55.349 --> 00:24:56.630 to be able to say, not not to point to her as a 363 00:24:56.750 --> 00:25:00.470 prize, but just to be able to to say here's what the Lord has 364 00:25:00.589 --> 00:25:03.670 done. I've had the privilege of being a part of this story. So 365 00:25:03.789 --> 00:25:06.069 you just had that happen. I well, I don't know if you were 366 00:25:06.109 --> 00:25:08.180 out there yet, but in southern California I saw that there was something one 367 00:25:08.299 --> 00:25:12.779 five hundred people being baptized. Yeah, and and there were lots of photos 368 00:25:12.779 --> 00:25:17.619 on facebook of that. One of them was of a pregnant woman, very 369 00:25:17.900 --> 00:25:22.089 pregnant woman, yeah, who that church had discipled, mentored and had been 370 00:25:22.130 --> 00:25:26.609 saved from abortion. That baby had been to and and there they are as 371 00:25:26.650 --> 00:25:32.730 a church, gathering and baptizing her. I mean that is such an encouragement 372 00:25:32.809 --> 00:25:37.680 and inspiration to the church to do what God has called them to do. 373 00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:41.039 Yeah, and you can better. You better believe there's more people, because 374 00:25:41.079 --> 00:25:45.799 of that, that want to mentor right, they want to do this this 375 00:25:45.319 --> 00:25:48.519 discipleship thing, walking alongside of mom that chose live. There're more people that 376 00:25:48.599 --> 00:25:52.670 want to be out there on the sidewalk to get trained up, to help 377 00:25:52.789 --> 00:25:56.430 moms like that to choose life, plug them into mentors and all right, 378 00:25:56.670 --> 00:26:00.069 right, and so it's really is can be actually a catalyst for the church 379 00:26:00.109 --> 00:26:04.259 rising up, in the church being stirred up, yeah, and and being 380 00:26:04.420 --> 00:26:07.779 the church, being the hands and feet of Jesus. That's what this is 381 00:26:07.859 --> 00:26:11.380 all about. There's no doubt that. When I talked with pastors and share 382 00:26:11.380 --> 00:26:17.859 stories, the actual stories of what happens out on the sidewalk and the six 383 00:26:18.059 --> 00:26:22.289 success stories, they are fired up and they want to be a part of 384 00:26:22.369 --> 00:26:26.809 that. So so this is a really important thing for the church, not 385 00:26:27.009 --> 00:26:32.690 just the sidebot counselors, but the whole church to be involved in. Yeah, 386 00:26:32.880 --> 00:26:38.279 absolutely. Yeah, hopefully that was equipping for you guys and, as 387 00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:41.519 always, we want to put her email addresses out there for you guys to 388 00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:45.920 follow up with us and give us suggestions for podcast. Maybe have questions about 389 00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:48.549 this or other things that we've covered. You could reach out to me, 390 00:26:48.589 --> 00:26:52.630 Daniel at Love Life Dot Org. You can reach out to her, Vicki 391 00:26:52.750 --> 00:26:56.150 at Love Life Dot Org. We'd love to answer any questions that we can 392 00:26:56.829 --> 00:27:00.950 and I think that's it. So until next time, God bless God, 393 00:27:00.990 --> 00:27:14.380 bless y'all. Give our love for love, give me our love for gratitude. 394 00:27:17.450 --> 00:27:26.250 I know it will cost me my life. Nothing's too precious in some 395 00:27:26.170 --> you